love for sister...

(march 29th, 2009)

it has been three weeks & the boys are all still smitten with evyn! :)

aydin, though, takes the cake...he is so young (6), and already i know that he is going to be an amazing papa!

so full of love...

Evyn Nicole Kinney...an early spring blessing! :)

our baby girl was due april 5th, but she arrived early friday morning...1 1/2 weeks early!


born: march 27, 2009, 12:22am
weight: 7# 15 oz
length: 19 inches

she is beautiful...and just look at that hair!


Evyn Nicole Kinney

her proud papa...

the big brothers...aydin (6), orin (8), & ehren (2).
some friends made these awsome "big brother" shirts for the boys!!


mama's love...

i went into labor a little before 9pm thrusday evening, as she was born just after midnight.

it was a little bit crazy, as i was getting our boys to bed & lance was at work. i had just finished folding laundry when i felt the first contraction. you would think that after having given birth to 3 children i would know when i am in labor, but they all so different.

i called lance at work to give him a head's up, that i might be in labor, but by the time he actually got to the phone, i knew. the boys and i got all our bags packed and ready, and i called my friend katie (also a doula) and of course my midwife.

then it was off to the hospital! i arrived and was 4cm dilated, as is typical. we walked a few laps around the birthing wing, and labor was nearly 9cm. a few more contractions, and then we made our way to the tub. all of the water birth rooms were full, so we made due with the bathtub.

it was a beautiful birth...i felt very loved & supported. and our 6 year old, aydin, was there. he did great! he got a little weary at the end, as the pushing began...as it is quite intense at that point. but he stayed by my side until the end.

our spring nature table lot has arrived!

a package arrived last week from the spring fairies!

it was filled with 5 handmade gifts for our nature table...

and in their new home...

brunch, stocking up & a bit of a relapse...

it was a beautiful sunday morning at our house. the day of my blessingway (which i will post about later), and the day i decided to use for round one of stocking up our freezer before baby.


(part 1: brunch)


they had french bread & strawberries on sale at the grocer's, so what to make was a no brainer...french toast, fresh strawberries, sausage, & eggs. (yum! :)

a few of our spring flowers are the perfect addition to our spring table...




ehren is very much into having his picture taken lately...

aydin doing a bit of hamming...

(part 2: stocking up)

i decided today was the perfect day to begin stocking up the freezer before baby's arrival. french toast is always a favorite, it's easy to pop in the toaster and french bread was on sale at the grocer's...so, i bought 4 loaves. we had some for brunch and then i froze a good 4 ziploc bags full.

a mountain of french toast...

while organizing the freezer to see what room i could make & what needed to be tossed/used, i found a large tub of pumpkin.

what i tend to crave most in the first few weeks after giving birth is good, old-fashioned homecooking...so, naturally i made pumpkin pies.

though only one of those made it as far as the freezer...:)

we are definitely a bread loving family! we easily go through 2 loaves a week...sandwiches of course, but also just peanut butter/buttered/or even plain bread for snacks. and nothing beats homemade bread...nothing.

but as i have only 2 large loaf pans, i will have to bake more over the course of the next few days...


(part 3: the relapse)

my blessingway was planned for 2pm, but i needed to pick a friend up before heading over so i was to leave the house around 1pm.

you would think that i would have taken the day off...perhaps a little pampering here, a bubble bath there...but no, i relapsed into supermom mode and ended up having quite an emotional afternoon.

the brunch and baking all went fine...the kitchen was now full of delicious aromas. as i put the loaves of bread in the oven, i made the cookie dough for the pumpkin cookies i was to bring to the blessing way (it was a potluck). the bread gets done baking, and as i am pulling it out of the oven, i realize that it is about 45 minutes before i am supposed to leave.

i put a batch of cookies in the oven, and run to jump in the shower. quick as a wink i am done, and switch to batch number 2. now scamper off to get dressed...and this is where the meltdown began.

i am 37 weeks pregnant and have not picked out what i am to wear. my belly appears to have grown by leaps and bounds over the last 24 hour period because nothing seems to fit...ehren, sensing that i am going somewhere attaches himself to my leg. i scoop him up and run to check on the cookies...not ready, but it is soooo close to time for me to leave, i throw another pan in & hope that they'll both be done in time. back to the closet, desperately trying to find something, a little bit nicer to wear to the blessingway, and trying my best to soothe ehren at the same time. aydin is asking me about something...my mind is going a mile a minute trying to think of everything i need to do before i go...wrap up the food to be frozen, finish baking the cookies...why aren't they done yet?!?...dry my hair...what time is it??...oh my gosh...i have got to hurry...where are the freezer bags i just bought yesterday?!?

and then i lose it...i snap at the boys & at lance...is it their fault?? no. should i be scurrying abound like a rat trying to get a million things done?? no. and, of course, realizing that i have relapsed back into my old ways...well, that makes it worse. i get so aggravated at myself for being, well...me. why do i always have to try and cram a million things into each day?? it always ends up the same way, me stressed, rushing around, frustrtated at myself and the world.

i start crying because i am so mad at myself...and then the reality of it all hits...what am i so upset about?? because the cookies aren't going to be done in time?? why didn't i just being a loaf of bread that was done, or one of the pies that was done...??

at this point, i am late to leave, i am balling my eyes out, and i don't really feel like going anywhere...except maybe back to bed. now, i suppose that i can blame this entire ridiculous outburst on pregnancy hormones, but i don't think that that would be fair.

i pull myself together, kiss the boys & lance goodbye and head out the door.

on my way to pick up jenny, i do a bit of soul searching...i have done well on this journey to a new me. we certainly cannot change ourselves overnight. no, they say it takes us doing/not doing something for 21 days straight for it to become a part of our being, a "habit". i have only been on this road for a couple of weeks. i realize that i have done remarkably well, especially considering that i am trying to change a very central part of who i am. it is a struggle, but it is for the best. it is for the people who matter most in my life...lance and our children. it is for my own good, my own sanity.

i realize that this is all a part of the process...i realize that today's "episode" wasn't about cookies & ill-fitting clothes, but about facing our own inner demons. it was about ridding ourselves of all facades, our own skewed perceptions of who we are...it was about humility & surrendering ourselves to whatever divine spirits/higher beings we believe in.

we must lose all sense of self, face our faults (all of them) before any real change can occur...before the authentic self can be reborn.

the swap & the shop...:)

a fellow waldorf homeschooling mama, kelly o'neil, had a great idea to start a swap yahoo group...it is dubbed "bits of goodness". a great title as well, no??


here is a link if you are interested:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bitsofgoodness/?yguid=293335159



the basic concept is that we have 2-3 themed swaps per month, and those mamas interested in participating sign up. most groups average about 20 folks, each with one hostess. everyone makes 5 items, using natural materials (as much as possible) and then sends them along to the hostess before the deadline.


the hostess then takes the goodies, divides them up & in about a week all who particiapted receive a package in the mail full of "bits of goodness".


it is a simple concept, but i have noticed that it has gotten me to expand on my crafting a bit. doing things that i haven't done in a while, or that i have been meaning to do. and i usually make a few extras for the shop...the only drawback is that it can be addictive...:) well, that and that there are do many wonderful themes that we each have to be careful not to overextend ourselves.


the first swap i was in, for february, was a spring nature table swap...i knit some sweet little bunnies.
this month's swap?? for me, easter. this was a bit different than most as we could fill more than one slot, if we wanted to receive goodies for more than one easter child. as our baby girl is due the week before easter, i signed up for 4 slots...meaning that i make 5 each of 4 different items.


below is a sampling...of course, i made a few extras for the shop...:)

fun with triangles...

aydin and i spent some time this week exploring qualities of the number nine...


(our main lesson book page)

to further explore its many sides we cut out 9 triangles and arranged them in all sorts of patterns & designs. these are a few of our favorites...

house...

windmill...

coffee cup...(by aydin)...this is my personal favorite!

pine tree...

orin's prize rocket...

aydin's finest work...a robot...:)

a tea party...

what do you do after a morning of gardening in 40 degree weather?? have a tea party, of course...or in our case, hot cocoa! mmmmm...:)


ehren's first tea party, as a matter of fact, and he did quite well...he has gotten quite good at using his manners, thought we did have to give him him own mug of cocoa & his own little portion of marshmellows. his motto appreas to be "there is no food tastier than that which is pilfered..."

we used to have tea parties all the time (at least once a week), but we have gotten out of the habit for some reason. this, however, is to be the first of many...


there is a wonderful feeling that comes from using the little matching cups & saucers...filling a miniature plate with little cheese cubes and apple bits...passing little bowls of wholesome goodnesss around to share...and of course, being able to fill one's own tea cup.

water play...

another weather surprise, though this time a much welcome one. :)



the high today was in the 70's! gorgeous sunshine, beautiful blue skies...and tomorrow is to be much of the same. crazy, huh?? especially considering that last wednesday brought a good 3 or 4" of snow...

the boys, of course, took this opportunity to break out the sprinkler...

along the alphabet path...

today, being the truly beautiful spring-like day that it was, seemed the perfect day to try out an idea that i have been mulling over for the past month or so. we set out on our daily nature walk, but then i threw in a little twist...a nature scavenger hunt of sorts, set up by none other than mother nature herself!


aydin worked hard to learn his letters this past quarter (though it is truly amazing how many he already knew just from having an older brother :). and today we began our review by doing our best to spot the various letters amongst mother nature's own creations. i knew he would get a kick out of this idea because he & orin both love the "i spy" series, "where's waldo?", etc...


it was great fun for all...though it is also quite challenging as well. but then, what fun would it be if we found them all right away?? the real fun is the hunt, right??


anyway, here are the results of today's "i spy"...