post birth frustrations...

when we (evyn & i) were discharged from the hospital the pediatrician wanted me to bring her in for a check-up within 2-3 days. (with ehren, our now 2 year old, we weren't to bring him in until he was 1 week old.) i compromised...her appoinment was yesterday, when she was five days old.

the appointment was at 9am, but of course we have to drive into town (weaverville) and they asked us to arrive 10 minutes early to fill out paperwork. we leave the house at 8:30am.

her check-up went fine, she slept through almost all of it. the poor woman had to almost pry her eyes open to check the pupil reflexes, evyn was out like a light! she wanted me to get her biliruben checked though as she had a bit of a yellow tinge, as do most babies (or at least our 4).

she wrote up an order for us & it was off to mission lab express, in asheville (another 15 minutes away).

we did stop in at the weaverville fire dept to have the car seat checked out. i just wanted to make sure that we had it in right as it was sitting a bit funny & the fire department is 2 doors down from the doctor's office.

from there we are off to the mission's lab express. once there, we waited...and waited...and waited....and waited...why they call it the lab express i will never know.

evyn was wonderful though, she slept most of the morning, so it wasn't too bad. but keep in mind that she is only 5 days old & that i gave birth only 5 days earlier...meaning that NEITHER of us should be out of the house.

i make a quick stop at the store to pick up some diapers (we use the disposable until her cord falls off), and a few other things.

by the time we get home it is 2:30pm...meaning that we had been out for 5 1/2 hours! i was exhausted, my back was killing me, & i was ravenous. lance said that i looked pale...the cramping & bleeding that had mainly subsided the previous day returned full force...

now, let's just think on this for a minute...

new dawn midwifery left a pamphlet with me, my "postpartum instructions", what does it say??

"keep in mind that you have conceived and grown a baby for nine months & experienced both labor and delivery.

you need your rest. we suggest that you try to stay in bed for the first week...

remember, in addition to having given birth, you will have severe sleep deprivation from being up day & night. furthermore, you will have the hormonal shifts of postpartum & your milk coming in. please respect this process & rest.

this time should be spent bonding with the new baby. "

the woman at the bakery where i stopped to get a scone & a cup of coffee said that i was brave to have her out at only 5 days old.

a woman at the fire department asked how old she was, when i said 5 days, she said..."and you're out & about??"

3 people in the check out line in the grocery store said the same...

it is only common sense that we have both evyn & i have been through a lot...giving birth is a very intense experience, & we should not have been out. we should have been at home getting to know this new little being that has entered our lives. we should be at home with our family, resting & enjoying being a family...

the kicker?? i got up the morning & had a message on the machine from evyn's doctor. when i called her back, she said that evyn's bilirubin came back slightly elevated & they have put in orders for us to have it checked again tomorrow (friday).

i said, "no." she said, "no?"

i said, "no. we were gone yesterday from 8:30am until 2:30pm, 5 1/2 hours! my discharge orders are to try to not even leave the bed for the first week. it was sunny yesterday & we spent the afternoon outside in the sun. and i will get her out in the sun as much as i can in the next few days. we have an appointment next week, and if they still want her biliruben checked after that, then i will take her. but not tomorrow."

i told her how yesterday was too much & that if left me completely exhausted.

and she said ok. :)

it is frustrationg though that nothing is sacred...not even the most beautiful, most basic of occurances- giving birth. what is best for mother & child is no longer honored or respected. these are precious moments, and evyn is fine...if there was a life threatening issue concerning her health, i wouldn't hesitate to do everything within my power to help her.

but from the moment evyn came into this world it is my job, as her mother, to do what is best for her. and right now that is keeping her close to me, in our home, away from all the madness of the outside world...all of the lights, noise, germs, etc; breastfeeding, giving her all my love and making sure that she gets as much bonding time with her father & brothers as possible.