i got a bit behind on my posts, but that happens when one's life involes a newborn, a toddler, homeschooling 2 boys, having a wahm business. not to mention trying to keep up with dinners, cleaning, etc & attempting to live life as well...
but i wouldn't have it any other way!
people often say, "boy, you sure have your hands full"...is that a bad thing??
my life may involve chaos, seemingly endless loads of diapers, a house that is an obstacle course of legos & other toys strewn about, but it revolves around LOVE...the love of four amazing children & one devoted husband.
don't get me wrong, we have our days...last night was one for me.
having three children was a breeze. it was life as usual, with a newborn in tow. i used a wrap, and would nurse ehren in that. so there was little adapting our routine/life. and he was such an amazingly easy baby. so chill... we did have a few "issues" in the beginning, mainly there not being enough "mommy" to go around.
i expected four to be "more"... some complications during my pregnancy with evyn forced me to slow down & really take a good look at myself & our life & to begin making changes here & there. it was a good thing.
last night it hit me hard though...four children is a lot. orin & aydin are older (8 & 6), so they are relatively "easy" at this point, they can do so much for themselves & really only need me for little things here & there. but ehren (2) and evyn (3 weeks) are more intense.
i am the kind of person who hates to ask for help, and ever since evyn's was born, i feel like that is all i do. i am doing all that i can, which isn't half of what i did 1 month ago, and yet i am always asking the boys to hold evyn, or watch ehren so that he can be outside for a bit...start this load of laundry, go get this or please do that...
the actualy diaper changing, the feedings i can handle, the lack of sleep is beginning to effect me (i could give countless examples, but i won't :), but the constant pull from either evyn or ehren...one of them is always needing something, and i do not get a chance to *breathe*.
i used to knit, craft, read, take a bath, or even just sit outside to rejuvenate myself...but with a lot of the weather we have been having i can't take evyn outdoors, or if evyn is sleeping, then ehren isn't or vice versa. i don't feel quite ready to leave the boys in charge while i get a bath. and it is hard to knit/sew while nursing...:)
lance is home on weekends & helps out with diaper changes & things. but it still isn't enough. i melted last night & cried for the first time in a long time. i told him that when he is home i really need him to help out even more than he is. and his response if that it is the only time he isn't working, his 2 days off... i know, but i get no days off... ever. and everything is on me during the week...me & only me...
how do acheive a balance?? is there even such a thing??
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
easter...
ours was a beautiful spring day! perfect for chocolate bunnies, egg hunting, & discovering what goodies were left in the night by the easter hare... :)
around here the easter hare leaves little clues here & there for the boys to follow to find their baskets, which are hidden around the house.
so, that is where our day begins...
around here the easter hare leaves little clues here & there for the boys to follow to find their baskets, which are hidden around the house.
so, that is where our day begins...
Friday, April 10, 2009
beautiful spring blooms...
there is nothing like mother nature's beauty to whisk away all of life's worries...
apple...
forsythia...
phlox...
redbud...
quince...
grape hyacinths...
tulips...
posies...
apple...
forsythia...
phlox...
redbud... 
quince... 
grape hyacinths... 
tulips... 
posies... Tuesday, April 7, 2009
ehren: "show & tell" & "shoe bandit"...
ehren is LOVING having his picture taken lately, and no more squinty camera face either (this is a major break through)...
he has developed a shoe fetish though... every time we see him he is wearing a pair of brothers shoes. this, of course, leads to trouble because aydin & orin can never find their other shoe...
he has developed a shoe fetish though... every time we see him he is wearing a pair of brothers shoes. this, of course, leads to trouble because aydin & orin can never find their other shoe...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
post birth frustrations...
when we (evyn & i) were discharged from the hospital the pediatrician wanted me to bring her in for a check-up within 2-3 days. (with ehren, our now 2 year old, we weren't to bring him in until he was 1 week old.) i compromised...her appoinment was yesterday, when she was five days old.
the appointment was at 9am, but of course we have to drive into town (weaverville) and they asked us to arrive 10 minutes early to fill out paperwork. we leave the house at 8:30am.
her check-up went fine, she slept through almost all of it. the poor woman had to almost pry her eyes open to check the pupil reflexes, evyn was out like a light! she wanted me to get her biliruben checked though as she had a bit of a yellow tinge, as do most babies (or at least our 4).
she wrote up an order for us & it was off to mission lab express, in asheville (another 15 minutes away).
we did stop in at the weaverville fire dept to have the car seat checked out. i just wanted to make sure that we had it in right as it was sitting a bit funny & the fire department is 2 doors down from the doctor's office.
from there we are off to the mission's lab express. once there, we waited...and waited...and waited....and waited...why they call it the lab express i will never know.
evyn was wonderful though, she slept most of the morning, so it wasn't too bad. but keep in mind that she is only 5 days old & that i gave birth only 5 days earlier...meaning that NEITHER of us should be out of the house.
i make a quick stop at the store to pick up some diapers (we use the disposable until her cord falls off), and a few other things.
by the time we get home it is 2:30pm...meaning that we had been out for 5 1/2 hours! i was exhausted, my back was killing me, & i was ravenous. lance said that i looked pale...the cramping & bleeding that had mainly subsided the previous day returned full force...
now, let's just think on this for a minute...
new dawn midwifery left a pamphlet with me, my "postpartum instructions", what does it say??
"keep in mind that you have conceived and grown a baby for nine months & experienced both labor and delivery.
you need your rest. we suggest that you try to stay in bed for the first week...
remember, in addition to having given birth, you will have severe sleep deprivation from being up day & night. furthermore, you will have the hormonal shifts of postpartum & your milk coming in. please respect this process & rest.
this time should be spent bonding with the new baby. "
the woman at the bakery where i stopped to get a scone & a cup of coffee said that i was brave to have her out at only 5 days old.
a woman at the fire department asked how old she was, when i said 5 days, she said..."and you're out & about??"
3 people in the check out line in the grocery store said the same...
it is only common sense that we have both evyn & i have been through a lot...giving birth is a very intense experience, & we should not have been out. we should have been at home getting to know this new little being that has entered our lives. we should be at home with our family, resting & enjoying being a family...
the kicker?? i got up the morning & had a message on the machine from evyn's doctor. when i called her back, she said that evyn's bilirubin came back slightly elevated & they have put in orders for us to have it checked again tomorrow (friday).
i said, "no." she said, "no?"
i said, "no. we were gone yesterday from 8:30am until 2:30pm, 5 1/2 hours! my discharge orders are to try to not even leave the bed for the first week. it was sunny yesterday & we spent the afternoon outside in the sun. and i will get her out in the sun as much as i can in the next few days. we have an appointment next week, and if they still want her biliruben checked after that, then i will take her. but not tomorrow."
i told her how yesterday was too much & that if left me completely exhausted.
and she said ok. :)
it is frustrationg though that nothing is sacred...not even the most beautiful, most basic of occurances- giving birth. what is best for mother & child is no longer honored or respected. these are precious moments, and evyn is fine...if there was a life threatening issue concerning her health, i wouldn't hesitate to do everything within my power to help her.
but from the moment evyn came into this world it is my job, as her mother, to do what is best for her. and right now that is keeping her close to me, in our home, away from all the madness of the outside world...all of the lights, noise, germs, etc; breastfeeding, giving her all my love and making sure that she gets as much bonding time with her father & brothers as possible.
the appointment was at 9am, but of course we have to drive into town (weaverville) and they asked us to arrive 10 minutes early to fill out paperwork. we leave the house at 8:30am.
her check-up went fine, she slept through almost all of it. the poor woman had to almost pry her eyes open to check the pupil reflexes, evyn was out like a light! she wanted me to get her biliruben checked though as she had a bit of a yellow tinge, as do most babies (or at least our 4).
she wrote up an order for us & it was off to mission lab express, in asheville (another 15 minutes away).
we did stop in at the weaverville fire dept to have the car seat checked out. i just wanted to make sure that we had it in right as it was sitting a bit funny & the fire department is 2 doors down from the doctor's office.
from there we are off to the mission's lab express. once there, we waited...and waited...and waited....and waited...why they call it the lab express i will never know.
evyn was wonderful though, she slept most of the morning, so it wasn't too bad. but keep in mind that she is only 5 days old & that i gave birth only 5 days earlier...meaning that NEITHER of us should be out of the house.
i make a quick stop at the store to pick up some diapers (we use the disposable until her cord falls off), and a few other things.
by the time we get home it is 2:30pm...meaning that we had been out for 5 1/2 hours! i was exhausted, my back was killing me, & i was ravenous. lance said that i looked pale...the cramping & bleeding that had mainly subsided the previous day returned full force...
now, let's just think on this for a minute...
new dawn midwifery left a pamphlet with me, my "postpartum instructions", what does it say??
"keep in mind that you have conceived and grown a baby for nine months & experienced both labor and delivery.
you need your rest. we suggest that you try to stay in bed for the first week...
remember, in addition to having given birth, you will have severe sleep deprivation from being up day & night. furthermore, you will have the hormonal shifts of postpartum & your milk coming in. please respect this process & rest.
this time should be spent bonding with the new baby. "
the woman at the bakery where i stopped to get a scone & a cup of coffee said that i was brave to have her out at only 5 days old.
a woman at the fire department asked how old she was, when i said 5 days, she said..."and you're out & about??"
3 people in the check out line in the grocery store said the same...
it is only common sense that we have both evyn & i have been through a lot...giving birth is a very intense experience, & we should not have been out. we should have been at home getting to know this new little being that has entered our lives. we should be at home with our family, resting & enjoying being a family...
the kicker?? i got up the morning & had a message on the machine from evyn's doctor. when i called her back, she said that evyn's bilirubin came back slightly elevated & they have put in orders for us to have it checked again tomorrow (friday).
i said, "no." she said, "no?"
i said, "no. we were gone yesterday from 8:30am until 2:30pm, 5 1/2 hours! my discharge orders are to try to not even leave the bed for the first week. it was sunny yesterday & we spent the afternoon outside in the sun. and i will get her out in the sun as much as i can in the next few days. we have an appointment next week, and if they still want her biliruben checked after that, then i will take her. but not tomorrow."
i told her how yesterday was too much & that if left me completely exhausted.
and she said ok. :)
it is frustrationg though that nothing is sacred...not even the most beautiful, most basic of occurances- giving birth. what is best for mother & child is no longer honored or respected. these are precious moments, and evyn is fine...if there was a life threatening issue concerning her health, i wouldn't hesitate to do everything within my power to help her.
but from the moment evyn came into this world it is my job, as her mother, to do what is best for her. and right now that is keeping her close to me, in our home, away from all the madness of the outside world...all of the lights, noise, germs, etc; breastfeeding, giving her all my love and making sure that she gets as much bonding time with her father & brothers as possible.
post birth blessing...
evyn as born a bit after midnight on friday, march 27th. since that first night, even when evyn & i were still in the hospital, our friends have been bringing us dinners. we have been blessed with homemade chicken pot pie, salmon & rice, a massive lasagna (it was so huge i actually froze half!!), fettucine alfredo, black bean soup, quite a few loaves of homemade bread, salads, ice cream, even brownies!
at one point we actually had to tell them to take a night off so that we could catch up...
there is a community here in madison county, one that we have been lucky enough to find ourselves immersed in. mainly homeschooling mamas/families, and mainly from the madison county homeschool co-op. never have i/we felt so loved & well looked after, never...
there are even a few women from town (asheville), mamas that i have only met briefly when trading baby clothes, or diapers & things. when they heard of evyn's birth, i received email after email saying that they would love to bring us dinner one night.
we have had calls asking us if we need anything from the store, do we need reading material...offers to take the older boys for play dates...i am amazed. i/we have never had it so good & i feel truly blessed.
lance took this week off as well, so i am defnitely feeling a bit spoiled! :)
these same mamas put together a blessingway for evyn, just weeks before she was born. again, the amount of love that i feel for these amazing mamas is, well...there just aren't words enough to describe.
here are a few photos from the blessingway...
at one point we actually had to tell them to take a night off so that we could catch up...
there is a community here in madison county, one that we have been lucky enough to find ourselves immersed in. mainly homeschooling mamas/families, and mainly from the madison county homeschool co-op. never have i/we felt so loved & well looked after, never...
there are even a few women from town (asheville), mamas that i have only met briefly when trading baby clothes, or diapers & things. when they heard of evyn's birth, i received email after email saying that they would love to bring us dinner one night.
we have had calls asking us if we need anything from the store, do we need reading material...offers to take the older boys for play dates...i am amazed. i/we have never had it so good & i feel truly blessed.
lance took this week off as well, so i am defnitely feeling a bit spoiled! :)
these same mamas put together a blessingway for evyn, just weeks before she was born. again, the amount of love that i feel for these amazing mamas is, well...there just aren't words enough to describe.
here are a few photos from the blessingway...
but i would also like to give a shout out as well...
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!!!...
amanda starr, amanda wilder, gina smith, tina beaudet, heather mikus, jenny miller, elizabeth martin, katie watkins, teresa ramsey, nancy holbrook, dallas & tammy goodman, carrie berry, and of course their families...
i feel truly blessed to have you all in my life, and look forward to when i am able to give back! :)
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